Eventually she said, "The one that Jeff goes to." You'd go to whatever school Jeff goes to, regardless of whether it is best for you?" I asked.She nodded into my neck."There is a word for that you know," I told her. "Love. It makes you do all sorts of stupid things."I felt her hot tears on my neck. "But after graduation, Jeff is going to be done with me. He's going to want to go out and experience college life. He's going to want to get a real girlfriend. He's not going to want me anymore!" I think you underestimate your Jeff," I told her, "But I know that you would not believe anything that I say on that topic. However, I do have a secret that you will believe." What's that?" Rachel asked, sniffing."Jeff and I made a bet when all this started, and that bet effects you," I told her."What bet?" she asked."He thought that when you went away to college, you would be done with him, that your little experiment would be over," I explained. "I know you, though, and I felt it was naive of. But, for now, she threw out the questions like a pitcher throwing fastballs, and I kept hoping I could bat fast enough and keep hitting balls over the fence.“Steve-O, there’s a lot of equipment in here,” Mom quipped.“It’s for training dogs,” I said, saying the first thing that came to my head.“Honey, what’s this cage for? It’s pretty large for just dogs, isn’t it?” she asked.“Great Danes, mom.” I shot back.“Oh, son, I don’t think it’s acceptable in 2020 to have whips like these for the animals,” she chided.“Tough shit!” I responded, having no good comeback for that one.“Language, Steve-O!” Mom huffed.I sighed.“Where’s the hole in this red rubber ball? How do you wear it as a clown’s nose?”“Mom, let’s just…”“Ooh, what are these tiny little clamps for?” she asked, picking up the new nipple clamps I’d bought for my gal.“Those are nail clippers, Ma!” Hey, her sight is failing too, she might believe that!Then she saw the Hitachi wand. “Oh, what a nice powerful back massager!” she.
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